Infertility treatments can be a lonely place

Infertility is a strange thing.  So many people are affected by it, yet no two journeys are the same.

As a fertility coach that went through six years of infertility treatments, I can relate to the emotional impact it has on the life of everyone going through the process. I remember the first steps in this journey, the uncertainty, the fear, the stress and mostly the long lonely hours that come with the process.

We are raised to believe that when we work hard and put our best efforts into a task, chances are that we will succeed in achieving it. Such a belief systems doesn’t work when it comes to infertility treatments. All the brave women that have been through this process have done their BEST and placed all their efforts into the process, yet no one could promise them that it will work.

This process can be very stressful due to the lack of control we have over the outcome. As a result I know for me and most others, we can, at times, decide to keep the process to ourselves because we don’t want the stress of others asking about our progress. If we still believe we have some control over this process we might feel that we have failed it when it doesn’t work.

Since many women feel the need to keep these emotions private many women choose to keep infertility to themselves. This at times can be very hard and put us inside “the lonely bubble” of infertility treatments. Starting an IVF cycle brings with it lots of hopes as well as fear of disappointment. It doesn’t matter how many cycles you have done in your life, you will always crash when you get the negative test results.

As a life coach I encourage all who are in the process, to find a few safe people in your life that you can share with and have them be your support system. Secrets are never helpful, as much as they at times seem to protect us, we might regret them at the moment someone would have been there to lend an ear.

In order to put the shame of failure aside, we need to realize we are not in control, we are not broken and that infertility treatments as much as they are technologically advanced, still do need the touch of God and when the time is right the positive pregnancy test will arrive.

I know one thing that differentiates woman who got pregnant with fertility treatments and those that didn’t. Those who got pregnant never gave up, kept on showing up for the process, placed their ego outside the fertility center offices and trusted that at some point this process will work.

Until that day comes, we can all benefit from a good friend that is there for us. At times we don’t even want to burden our husbands with all the stress we are having, so a good friend or a loving sister, is always a great plan.

Trust the process, remember that secrets aren’t supporting your well being, and share. You will probably inspire many people and help someone else along the way.

If you want to learn more about my coaching program – The Gifts of Infertility, email me at: info@yourfertilitymatters.com.