Pro-Actively waiting for the BFP to arrive

Fertility treatments can be very stressful because so much is at stake. As we realize that we might need to get pregnant with the help of treatments, we tend to think that something is wrong with us. The word “broken” often comes to mind and we get to feel very low about our abilities to achieve our life dream goal.

As a Coach and as someone who went through many years of infertility treatments, I know how important it is to stay inspired and positive through the process. We have no control over this process and when it will result in a positive pregnancy. This puts us in a position of waiting. How can we pro-actively wait? With the right tools we can turn this time to be one of extreme value to our personal growth. These tools can also help in the way we “show up” for our partners and future kids in our day-to-day life.

Here are some points on how to Pro-Actively wait during the time of infertility treatments and/or while waiting for adoption or a Gestational Carrier/Surrogate:

Infertility treatments can be a lonely place

Infertility is a strange thing.  So many people are affected by it, yet no two journeys are the same.

As a fertility coach that went through six years of infertility treatments, I can relate to the emotional impact it has on the life of everyone going through the process. I remember the first steps in this journey, the uncertainty, the fear, the stress and mostly the long lonely hours that come with the process.

We are raised to believe that when we work hard and put our best efforts into a task, chances are that we will succeed in achieving it. Such a belief systems doesn’t work when it comes to infertility treatments. All the brave women that have been through this process have done their BEST and placed all their efforts into the process, yet no one could promise them that it will work.

Staying Open

I often asked myself when is enough, enough? Having been through many years of infertility treatments, being up there with all the emotions that come with the process, getting pregnant, strong medical suggestions to terminate it at 18 weeks, 17 egg donors embryos that never created a pregnancy, I again found myself asking this question, when is enough, enough?

This race to getting pregnant for me and many other woman can at times be very stressful and place us in the need to be in control, to know that we are doing all that we can and wake up day after day ready to fight the infertility battle. 

Relinquishing worry – Another gift of Infertility

Relinquishing worry

Waiting teaches us to dwell fully where we are. When we don’t control our circumstances and we can’t predict the future, we have the opportunity to live in the present.  From the book Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting.

We all have experienced the stress that is involved while trying to conceive; yet we also have experienced the hope that comes when we are ready to start our journey of infertility treatments. This is the time when I learned that I can let go of trying to “fix” a situation and finally get help for something I couldn’t figure out on my own… 

Day 10 post embryo transfer and the gifts it brings – Not always the one we expected

Good morning day 10 post embryo transfer. Good morning world…

That harsh understanding that what you have hoped to be the last IVF cycle in your life, is just another one, another one in many…

Here we are once again, sunshine coming through the bedroom shades, sending smiles from the universe for another beautiful day. I just woke up and realize that inside my heart no sun is shining at the moment, just silence and darkness, that same energy that comes up after every negative pregnancy test. A sad quiet heart and a very tired body looking at the sunshine coming through the window feeling so disconnected and far away from that vivid energy that they bring along.

The IVF process is a hard one, we all know that. At times it feels to me like it’s a theater show that each of us orchestrates in their head about this being the perfect IVF cycle. Come to think about it, during an IVF cycle you think you are in control, you think you know the show, you think you get the story line, you think you get the ending, you think you know the bigger meaning or message of the play.